30 October 2013

what does craig paquette have up his sleeve?

some might think that craig paquette was the embodiment of the southern california dude back in 1996. it makes sense - he had his tan, his wraparound shades, his blond hair, and his pearly whites, but he also had something else.  the socal native had a fan who would give him things to put up his sleeve before games.  here, on paquette's 1997 upper deck collector's choice card, we are given a glimpse of the scene immediately following one such transaction.
now, what could paquette be putting up his sleeve?  and why?  well, now, for the first time, we are able to understand thanks to recently discovered photo variations of the card.  take a look.
interesting.  that looks like a tree.  it's as if the unidentified fan is telling paquette to put a tree in his sleeve.
that's weird.  that's a transformer action figure - bumblebee, i believe.  i guess i should know, but i was too busy looking at megan fox to really have understood what was going on in that movie.  but yes, it is bumblebee.  so, paquette has also put bumblebee in his sleeve.
ok, now this is strange.  a clock?
a big rock?
and now some fleas?  what would paquette have to gain by putting a bunch of chili pepper bassists in his sleeve?  i wonder if the chili peps would make him start to sneeze in his sleeve.
that's a tin can
and that's a little tiny man, both put in paquette's sleeve.
now a light?  would that make it bright in his sleeve?
a tv?

who is this fan, anyway?

i get it.

it's the boogie.  paquette's got the boogie in his sleeve.

well, the boogie did paquette good in 1996, as he led the royals in home runs (22) and rbi (67).  i would never have guessed that paquette had ever hit that many dingers, but when you've got the boogie, i suppose anything is possible.

[this work of fiction is my entry in round 1 of nachos grande's blogger bracket challenge.  if you want to see more things craig paquette may or may not have put up his sleeve (such as a frown, a clown, a boat, moat, or even a mink coat), then cast your vote accordingly]

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