31 August 2012

spray it again, carlos

before there was 'the cream' and 'the clear', there was 'the spray'.  

similar to corticosteroid nasal sprays, 'the spray' was to be delivered via a fine mist into the nose - no need for needles and cramped bathroom stall injection parties with this performance enhancing drug.  and, instead of having to make up some sort of bs about the benefits of flaxseed oil, players using 'the spray' could simply complain of hay fever or sinusitis before giving the small spray bottle a couple of pumps right up the ol' schnozz.  it was foolproof until some players got carried away, and experimented with an alternative delivery system.  

although we cannot see exactly who carlos delgado is dousing with 'the spray' on his 1998 score card while teammates shawn green and joe carter look on with bewildered amusement,

 a quick scan of the blue jays' roster may provide the answer.
canseco went on to hit a career high (!) 46 home runs for the jays in 1998, while the rocket won his second consecutive cy young award while striking out more batters than he ever had in boston except for one season.  maybe 'the spray' really worked when applied in high doses!

now, before you get all literal on me - i realize that canseco was not a member of the blue jays in 1997 when the photo used on delgado's card was most likely taken (we know that the photo is from no later than 1997 because joe carter was not with the team in 1998).  and, conversely, you should realize that this post was written for round 4 of nachos grande's contest, and is a completely fictional account of why a major league baseball player might be using a supersoaker from the dugout.

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